A death in the virtual family

I found out today that the atomic space avatar behind Oliphant Ming, sailor extraordinaire on the seas and rivers of Second Life, died on June 26th.

I met Oli through sailing in the heady days of 2005. We raced a lot and sailed together a lot. Between Oli, Doc and me we managed to change the rules for Second Life sailing to include things about editing other people's boats. As I drifted away from the sailing communities I remained in touch with a couple of the sailors; Oli was one of them and so I knew he'd been in hospital a few times over the years and wasn't exactly the healthiest person in the world. I last spoke to him a couple of months ago; he just happened to log in as I was IMing someone close to him in the alphabet so I double clicked his name and said hi and we chatted for a bit.

To those that doubt we make real connections in virtual worlds I can tell you that the misery and I strongly suspect the rest of the mourning process will be very similar to when I heard a RL friend had died a few years ago. Of course I drink the MUVE koolaid and I'm a fangrrl so you'll discount it but trust me it's just as real for this guy you'll claim I've never met as it was then. In fact I feel particularly crappy because his Second Life partner IMed me yesterday and I had to say I didn't know his RL name and couldn't even search to see if there was mention of him anywhere online. She's the one that had to go out and find his obituary. I appreciate that Linden Lab can't monitor such things and spread the news but there's got to be a better way than that for us all to find out hasn't there?

He's still got a Tako moored outside the house in Io. If I ever move I will have to try and strong-arm a Linden into moving his boat too, I suspect those prims will be the ones I never modify even if I have to tweak builds a lot to build around them.

Posted by Eloise Pasteur in Real life
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#1 - Peter Stindberg 2009-08-19 06:43 - (Reply)

There is a better way. I have it stenciled out for over 5 years now, long before I ever heard of SL, but faced similar challenges. I only never had the time to convert the outline into a working draft and find the people to put it into action. Things looking promising for a watered down SL-only verson though.

My condolences to you.

#2 - Mikayla Aquitaine 2009-08-19 19:51 - (Reply)

I was Oli's virtual SL partner and cared for the man behind the avatar greatly. Unfortunately, he passed away a week before I moved to Dallas (He lived in Ft. Worth). We were supposed to get together once I got settled. You can imagine my worry when I tried to contact him once I got here and ended up with a disconnected phone and no way to find out what had happened. Just a heads up to those in the virtual world - family won't know to contact you if something happens to your virtual partner and it is hell being in the dark. I found out at 3am after a lot of searching what happened to my beloved Oli. I hope no one has to face something like this alone in the dark and find out the information on a cold internet obituary.

In a way, Oli left me something to remember him by beyond memories. All his land in SL has come to me by way of all the property being group owned. I can't afford to keep it all (he had almost a full sim worth of property) but I am keeping the one property where we had the most memories together for as long as I can and keeping it the way he left it. If you wish to visit it, it is in the sim of Bonga.

I can't tell you the sorrow or hurt I'm feeling right now but know if you were close to him too, you are not alone in the ache of missing him.

#3 - MarkTwain White 2009-08-21 17:51 - (Reply)

Eloise,Thank you for sharing your thoughts about Oli. And, Mikayla, we grieve with you. Yes, it might be a virtual world, but the friendships we make are as real as they can get.

I have added my comments about Oli at http://slsailing.com/archives/1331

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